In Honor of National Self-Love Day, Jacquie Elliott's New Book Highlights the Importance of Loving Oneself

February 5, 2026 at 08:37 AM EST - February 13th is National Self-Love Day. It intentionally falls the day before Valentine's Day as a reminder that loving yourself is not secondary to loving others.

In her new book, The Silent Bully: A Journey from Abusive Brain Chatter™ to Self-Love, Certified Life and Relationship Coach Jacquie Elliott explores why this reminder matters so deeply. She explains that many people unknowingly engage in a form of emotional self-abuse she calls Abusive Brain Chatter™—the harsh, bullying inner voice that fuels shame, self-doubt, and isolation.

"Valentine's Day can be a powerful trigger for Abusive Brain Chatter," Elliott says. "Not having a partner, grieving the loss of a loved one, or feeling left out of the cultural celebration of romance can intensify loneliness, self-pity, and 'I'm not good enough' thinking."

Rather than seeing love as something only received from others, Elliott encourages a radical shift: becoming the loving, kind voice for yourself. "I love the idea of a Self-Love Day," she says, "because it reminds us that we can offer ourselves the same compassion and care we so freely give to others."

In The Silent Bully, Elliott guides readers through practical tools to transform their inner emotional abuser into a supportive inner ally using what she calls the ABCs:

Aware – Become aware of what your inner chatter is saying and recognize the signs of emotional self-abuse, such as bullying, belittling, gaslighting, harsh criticism, and self-isolation.
Believe – Discover a kinder, gentler inner voice—often spiritual in nature—that can guide you away from abusive thoughts and speak louder than your inner bully.
Challenge – Learn to challenge painful core beliefs by asking: Is this true? Who told me this? Is this a belief I want to carry forward today?

Elliott suggests celebrating Self-Love Day by doing something you genuinely enjoy, making a list of things you're grateful for, and carrying that loving energy into Valentine's Day with a simple act of kindness. She explains that shifting focus in this way can interrupt negative thought patterns and quiet the inner critic before it takes hold.

National Self-Love Day invites us to remember that the most important relationship we will ever have is the one we have with ourselves, and that love, when practiced inwardly, has the power to heal.